Romance Scam Recovery — What to Do After You've Been Scammed

Step 1

Stop all contact — do not send another dollar

Do not send one more payment, gift card, or crypto transfer, even to 'unlock' funds. Every 'tax', 'release fee', 'insurance', 'compliance', or 'audit' request is part of the same script. The moment you refuse to pay, they escalate with threats, guilt, or a fake 'lawyer'. That is the con — not a second chance.

Step 2

Save every piece of evidence before you block

Screenshot the profile, every message, every payment, every wallet address, every phone number, and every third-party they introduced (fake 'advisor', 'broker', 'lawyer', 'IRS agent'). Export the full chat if the platform allows. Banks, the FTC, IC3, and your local police will ask for exact dates, amounts, and identifiers.

Step 3

Report to your bank or payment app the same day

Call the fraud line printed on your card, not a number the scammer gave you. Wire, Zelle, ACH, and crypto are hardest to reverse but every payment method has a dispute window — file it. Use the phrase 'authorized push payment fraud' with US banks (Reg E) and 'authorised push payment (APP) scam' with UK banks. Ask for a written case number.

Step 4

File with the FTC and IC3 (US) or your national cybercrime unit

US: file at reportfraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov — the IC3 report is what the FBI actually reads. UK: report to Action Fraud. Canada: Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre. Australia: Scamwatch. Include the same evidence pack you sent the bank plus every wallet address; investigators run cross-victim clustering on those.

Step 5

Freeze credit and lock down every account they touched

Place a credit freeze at Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion (free, takes minutes). Rotate the passwords on any email, bank, exchange, or social account the scammer knew about, and enable an authenticator-app 2FA (not SMS). If you shared ID photos, add a fraud alert to your credit file and flag your accounts for identity theft monitoring.

Step 6

Refuse every recovery scammer that surfaces next

Within days you will hear from 'crypto recovery firms', 'blockchain forensics', 'FBI liaisons', and 'lawyers' who say they can get the money back for a fee. They are the same criminal network selling you a second scam. No legitimate recovery firm asks for an up-front payment in crypto or gift cards. If someone messages you first offering to recover funds, block them.

Step 7

Submit the scammer to GACS so the next target sees a warning

Add the profile handle, phone number, wallet address, or fake broker URL to the GACS registry. Future search hits on those identifiers will show the flag before another victim replies — the single most impactful thing a survivor can do.

Step 8

Get emotional and legal support — do not carry this alone

AARP's Fraud Victim Support Line (877-908-3360), Advocating Against Romance Scammers (AARS), and the FTC's Pass It On program all offer free peer support. If you are in the US and the loss is significant, an elder-fraud attorney or a nonprofit like the Identity Theft Resource Center can review whether civil or criminal action fits your case.

Can I actually get my money back from a romance scam?

Recovery depends on how you paid. Credit card and PayPal (Purchase Protection) have the highest chargeback success. US bank Zelle and wire transfers are covered under Reg E only when the account was compromised, not when the payment was authorized — but big US banks now voluntarily refund some authorized push-payment fraud after CFPB pressure. Crypto is almost never reversible, but on-chain tracing can lead to exchange freezes if reported early to IC3.

Is every 'crypto recovery service' a scam?

Nearly every unsolicited one is. Legitimate blockchain forensics firms (Chainalysis, TRM Labs, CipherTrace) work with law enforcement and banks — not directly with victims for a percentage or an up-front crypto fee. If someone finds you first on Instagram, Telegram, WhatsApp, or a review site claiming they can recover stolen funds, they are the second scam. Report them to GACS.

How long do I have to file a report with my bank?

For US consumers, Regulation E gives you 60 days from the statement date on which the unauthorized transaction first appeared. Even for authorized fraud (which Reg E does not require refunding), many banks now honor claims filed within 30–60 days after CFPB guidance. File in writing and keep the case number — the earlier the better.

Should I confront the scammer or ask for my money back?

No. The moment they know you have caught on, they delete accounts, move funds, and pivot to threats or fake legal action to extract one last payment. Save evidence silently, report to the bank, then block. Do not warn them.

What if I sent explicit photos or shared ID documents?

For explicit images, use StopNCII.org to prevent the images from being shared on major platforms and report sextortion to IC3 immediately. For ID documents (passport, driver's license, selfies), place a credit freeze at all three US bureaus, add a fraud alert to your credit file, and monitor for new account openings. Change every password the scammer might have and enable app-based 2FA.

I feel humiliated. Is there support that isn't judgmental?

Yes — AARP's Fraud Victim Support Line (877-908-3360) is free and confidential. AARS (Advocating Against Romance Scammers) runs peer groups. The FTC's Pass It On program is designed by survivors, for survivors. Romance scams target smart, kind, socially connected people; the shame belongs to the criminals, not you.